Prayer is the difference to staying together happily. For those who have taken the time to make a commitment to their beloved, or have a Holy Union, public or otherwise, already know that it is not easy to stay with commitments at times.
The truth is that LOVE is the only thing that will get you through and keep you in the agreements that you made. (Isn't a ceremony, a commitment, really all about integrity? Being who we say we are and always showing up that agreed way???)
Quite clearly in counseling with couples, (generally with premarital couples or those in crisis), I find that I must remind them that if they want to really stay together, they must work on it. One of the finest ways of doing this is to PRAY together.
" COUPLES WHO PRAY TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER!"
Now that, (praying),
can look like differently to a
couple. For instance, praying
together needn't be audible, but it sure can be.
Taking the time to be in that place with our God is the most important
factor. As a couple gets more
comfortable with the other, the audible version can show up quite naturally,
both may want to participate, differently, and yet together.
Always I remind my couples that prayer time together is not a time to "vent" (especially about the other just because they have the floor). Nor is it the time to "beg" God for OUR way, but rather pray for God's Will be done.
Who is to offer the prayer? Either person, or both, and this can vary by one person doing all of them for a week or a month, then switching. It just needs to be daily. It is up to you both how it can be in your lives together.
Our religions are not the same, therefore how can we pray together? Well simply stated, GOD IS GOD. Just pray your prayer, it will still work and benefit each of you regardless of the different "brand" of God you each may have. (The truth be known, even in the same "brand" of religion, the best of the theologians disagree…but do they stop praying? No! They pray all the more!)
Generally a
couple gets into challenges because of EGO,
(EASING GOD OUT is another way to think of ego); or just not
understanding the other. Often both
people are really saying the same thing, but clearly something is not getting
across so that they both know it, and a fuss then ensues.
Then we have a problem.
When we are in a fuss, we just are
not as loving as we have agreed to be, let alone how we know our nature to be,
or even how we want to be. We are
not pulling together, but apart. Not good.
Now we don't even promote the love between us because of our apparent upset, disappointment, betrayal and the list goes on. Really not good.
A relationship is a living thing. It must be treated with love and respect and consideration, as well as allowing for growth to take place because of our differences as well as same-nesses.
With much love, we can do all things. Without it, there is not a relationship that will survive. Having the faith to believe in each other to the utmost, as well as ourselves, is another essential ingredient to a full, healthy relationship. Caring enough to seek help is another way of assisting our relationships, rather than standing on our ego's need to be right over some, (big or trivial), situation, and not seeking assistance to get us up and over the-whatever.
Prayer is available to everyone, at any time; good in all the situations of life that I know of. Prayer is credited with healing, love, hope as well as faith and more. It is known to mend relationships that are tattered, worn, tired and thought to be over.
So if you are new to a relationship, over one, or in a long term one and have not entered into prayer before, but you would like to stay in the relationship with happiness, (and I add here that it is our right to be happy), give it a try and watch the magic take place in your individual and collective life . It works, really.
We have all seen relationships that were the most loving and the kindest and, geez , they ended! What happened to the love? Haven't you ever wondered? I have. But this subject is for another time. Until then, I pray you are praying daily in your way as your God would have you to pray! About Reverend Rosalind Russell: She is the Director of the R STAR Foundation. She has a ministry in counseling individuals as well as couples, in a spiritual context; she has an on going prison ministry, over 15 years, working on a one to one basis rather than groups within the prisons; officiates ceremonies from Holy Unions, Weddings, Baptisms, Memorials as a licensed and ordained minister in both California and Hawaii. She can be contacted by phone at:
949-497-2525 or her e- mail address is: RSTAR@PACBELL.NET